Last Christmas
by allenssnows
Summary: Kurt hates Christmas since someone broke his heart the last one. He didn't expect to meet again with said person.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Ok, so the summary pretty much sucks but I think you have an idea of how will be this fic, so I just hope you like it and sorry for any grammatical mistake**

Kurt hated Christmas.

If it was for him, he'd spend the whole month of december cuddled in his bed with his hot british boyfriend, Adam. But sadly Adam had to work on the supermarket and asked Kurt to wait for him on the coffee around the corner, to pick him up.

He didn't understand why was necessary to wait for him here, when he could be waiting for him on his apartment, which wasn't decorated with christmas stuff, and he wouldn't have to listen christmas carols or people talking about how much they love christmas or that they don't know what to buy to their partner.

Kur took a deep breath, and closed his eyes, smelling the coffee just made and trying to don't cry, while waiting his turn on the line.

He used to love Christmas, it was his favorite holiday, but that changed last year, when a man broke his heart. And Kurt should be over it now, but he couldn't forget.

He couldn't forget the taste of the man's lips, mixed with hot chocolate; the touch of his hands, how good and warm felt his skin, even though New York was freezing; the way the man eyes looked at him; with want, and what Kurt thought it was love (obviously wrong), his hot breath against his ear, the kisses on his skin, his voice…

"Next!" – The man behind the coutner almost yelled, sounding pretty angry. Or maybe just tired.

His voice sounded a lot like the man who broke Kurt's heart.

Kurt opened his eyes and saw, and hoped this man, who was looking down while writing something, wasn't the one Kurt was thinking.

But then the man lifted his head, his grumpy expression, changing to a shocked one. And Kurt saw it was Sebastian Smythe.

"Kurt?" He asked, after a brief momento of silence (and someone yelling to hurry up). "What are-"

"A non fat mocha." Kurt answered dryly, handing him the money (Kurt already knew his price.) and then proceding to move aside, waiting for his coffee.

As Kurt waited, he could feel Sebastian's eyes as he was attending another client, and even when Kurt started to walk to his table.

❅ K&S ❅

He sat on a table besides the big window, looking at the snow falling and praying (to who? he doesn't even know because he doesn't believe in God) for Adam to come soon. His cup of coffee still full and cold already, after sitting there for a few minutes.

"Can I sit?" Sebastian asked. Kurt didn't even look at him, but Sebastian sat.

They were like this for almost a minute, no one speaking, Sebastian staring at Kurt and Kurt staring at the window, when Sebastian cleared his throat and spoke again.

"You know, I kinda thought you'd order a 'christmas drink', like hot chocolate or something." Sebastian said, trying to make it sound like a joke.

"Probably I'd still do if someone wouldn't have ruined my Christmas last year." Kurt said, still not turning to face him.

Sebastian swallowed, and Kurt, from his peripheral vision, he could Sebastian was nervous.

"Yeah about that," Sebastian took a deep breath, looking like he was looking for the right words. "I know I fucked it up, but I just wanna say I'm so-WHAT THE FUCK!?" Sebastian stood up quickly, picking a napkin and trying to dry his face.

Kurt wasn't a violent person, and for him this calificated as violent, but he couldn't let Sebastian finish, so he throw his coffee at his face.

He just couldn't let Sebastian apologizes, because Kurt knows if he does, he'll forgive him, and probably will end up with a kiss, and that kiss will lead to sex and the next morning Kurt will end up feeling heart broken as Sebastian left in the morning, just like last Christmas.

Kurt stood up, he'd wait for Adam outside the super or text him he'd wait on his apartment, anything, but he couldn't just be here anymore with Sebastian's presence.

"WAIT!" Sebastian yelled, following him.

Kurt could hear a female voice saying to Sebastian he couldn't leave, but Sebastian just ignored it and keep following Kurt, while he hurried.

Kurt barely made it out the door when Sebastian grabbed his wrist and turned him around.

"Fuck! You were almost running." Sebastian said, not letting him go, even though Kurt tried to loosen. "Can you- Fuck- Would you fucking stop?" Sebastian said, now grabbing both of Kurt wrists as Kurt started to smack his chest.

"Let me go, Sebastian!" Kurt said, not yelling because he thought he'd cry if he did.

"No." Sebastian said firmly. "Not until I can explain how much I'm sorry for what I did to you, to explain you why I did it and then…" Sebastian took a deep breath, again. "And then you decide if you wan to forgive me or not. If you want to give me a second chance or not."

"Ok." Kurt said reluctantly. "But stop grabbing me." And Sebastian let go his wrists."Start."

"Well I just want you to know that night was the best of my life, Kurt." Sebastian said looking directly at Kurt's eyes. "You made me feel things I've never felt before."

"Like disgust? nausea? Because that's what the letter said." Kurt said in a cold voice, trying to contain his emotions.

"Look that letter was part of my facade ok? I got scared Kurt." Sebastian said, looking at him with pleading eyes. "We didn't' have sex, we made love, and you-you said you loved me, and I just couldn't tell you back, not because I didn't feel that way because I was just so scared this would lead a relationship and you knew I never had one, and this could have ruined our friendship. That night meant everything to me, you mean everything to me, but I just couldn't risk my heart." Sebastian grabbed Kurt's face between his hands, looking sincere while he spoke the next words: "That night and you, still mean everything to me Kurt. I've lived tortured for months, knowing I acted like a coward." He started to lean, closing the distance between us and Kurt knew he was about to be kissed, and Kurt wanted too.

But all the momories from the next day came to his mind and heart, and he pushed Sebastian away.

"Mhm. And did you know how _I felt_?" Kurt asked bitterly, in the edge of tears. "My mistake was sleeping with you even though I knew you didn't love me, but I just…I couldn't wait, it just felt right. And I knew, or well I thought I knew what it would come after it: you saying you were too drunk to notice who you slept with, that you horny, friends have sex or something like that. I didn't expect you to bring me flowers and say you loved me, but I didn't expect either you'd act like an asshole, making me feel worthless and nothing more than a quick, and bad fuck."

"Kurt, I'm-" Sebastian stepped closer, Kurt took a step back.

"NO!" Kurt almost yelled, making everyone look at their way, but he didn't care. "You've made me feel worthless, Sebastian. I could have stand the feeling of love you and not being loved back, but not the feel of being, and I quote 'worst fuck ever, probably a girl would have been better. I'm sorry I've wasted so much time pretending to be your friend to get in your pants, and it wasn't even worthy. If you were this bad with Blaine, now I have no doubt why he cheated on you.'" Kurt finished, his voice breaking at the last sentence, tears falling like it was rain.

"Kurt," Sebastian's voice sounded so small, but Kurt couldn't bring himself to care.

If Sebastian didn't care in a year to make him feel better about this, because he definitely knew this would destroy Kurt, then Kurt didn't have to care about how he felt now.

"If you, at least would have bothered to call, to send me another letter, a facebook message…whatever, as a way to say you were sorry and you didn't mean it, I could forgive you." Kurt crying became in soft sobs, his expression darkening. "But you didn't give a fuck about how you made me feel, so now I don't have to give a fuck about how you feel."

"But, I-" And again Sebastian couldn't finish, because this time another man interrupted him.

"Is he bothering you, baby?" A blonde with a british accent asked, wrapping an arm around Kurt's waist. Sebastian eyes fell to where the blonde positioned his arm, a feeling of jealousy and hurt creeping inside him.

"No, honey." Kurt said, smirking at Sebastian. "We were just…discussing some stuff, but I was on my way to see you at the market."

"Yeah, sorry about that. Christmas Eve is the worst time to work." Adam said, looking genuinely apologetic.

"It's ok. _You don't_ have to explain me anything." Kurt said, now turning to see Adam and his boyfriend was frowning at him, like he was trying to figure out what Kurt meant. But Kurt didn't give him time, before he put a hand on his boyfriend's neck and crashing their lips together, both of them moaning into it.

Kurt wasn't one to show this kind of affection in public, but he just wanted to let Sebastian know he was already over him, even thought he wasn't. Suddenly they felt someone clearing his throat, and both aparted, Kurt turning to see Sebastian, with a smirk on his lips.

"Oh, Sebastian, this is my boyfriend, Adam." Kurt said in a sweety voice. "Adam, this is Sebastian, an old friend." Adam held his hand out, But Sebastian didn't shake it, just staring at Kurt, looking hurt. "Well, we better get going, I just want go to the apartment." And Kurt came closer to Adam's heart. "I can't wait to show you your christmas present." Kurt purred, looking at Sebastian, loud enough to be heard by both men.

Adam moaned, and cursed himself for doing it in the street, but luckily, nobody noticed.

"Bye, Sebastian." Kurt said, handing Sebastian a piece of paper, still smirking and walking away with Adam.

When Kurt passed him Sebastian opened the wrinkled piece of paper, and tears started to fell just as soon as Kurt's when he noticed it was the letter he left on Kurt's bedroom Last Christmas.

 **A/N: Let me know what you think and if I should make a sequel, probably a happier one xD**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Sorry I didn't upload this sooner, hope you all had a Merry Christmas

Sebastian scoffed as he grabbed the 'last bottle of beer' as the girl behind the bar said. He wasn't friends with Nancy, she was just the girl who have been listening Sebastian's problems every weekend for the past year, Sebastian told himself, but Nancy considered him as a friend, since he listened her problems as well. "

You can't deny me drinks." Sebastian said, with a poor attempt of a smirk. "I'm pretty sure your boss wouldn't be happy about one of his employees denying the opportunity of receiving money."

It broke her heart seeing him like this. In the past year he has seen Sebastian probably on every mood: angry, upset, sad and even once, happy. But she's never seen him like this, his eyes red and puffy becuase he has been crying since he got here, the only way he could be described was a mess and he wasn't even close of being like this the night he came and told her his dad passed away, probably because his dad was a jerk as Sebastian told her, but still he would miss him.

She knew about Sebastian and Kurt's story, he told her the first night he came here, which was 26th december. He told her about how he felt about this guy since high school, that didn't matter how many other guys he'd sleep with he couldn't forget Kurt, and when he slept with him, he got scared and ran away, leaving a note saying horrible things so Kurt wouldn't look for him. Of course he explained the reasons why even though he loved Kurt he couldn't say it, and as understandable as it was, that didn't stop her from thinking (and saying it multiple times) he was an asshole and a coward, and Sebastian would only agree with her. But tonight was so different from the others, besides his weird mood and his unstoppable crying, he wouldn't tell her what happened, but she assumed it was the memories of that night hunting him down.

"So how is that you're here instead of working?" Nancy asked trying to distract Sebastian.

"Becca's covering me. I'll do the same for her tomorrow." Sebastian mumbled. He crossed his arms over the table and put his head over them.

"Seb, you shouldn't have do that." Nancy said placing a hand on his shoulder. "Tomorrow it's Christmas and you'll have to work two turns!" Nancy almost yelled.

Sebastian sighed and lowered his head, and Nancy moved her hand to stroke his hair.

"Oh honey." Nancy said, in a tone that almost sent Sebastian crying again.

He hated being this vulnerable in front of someone, even if it was in front of someone as nice as Nancy. He wishes he could go back to his high school year self, be a total asshole without feelings and keep people away.

"Nancy you need to clean the bathroom, someone just threw up." Carlos, Nancy's work partner, ordered her.

"Why don't you do it? I'm busy here." Nancy said through gritted teeth.

"Sure, I'll tell our boss that you couldn't clean the bathroom's floor because once more, you were busy trying to comfort your boyfriend."

Sebastian growled, he didn't like this Carlos guy or the way he treated her, and if he was feeling a little bit stronger he would probably punch the guy, or yell him, but he was feeling really exhausted.

"Sorry hun, I'll be right back." Nancy said sighing, sounding really apologetically. "Don't drink more, please." She whispered in his hair before giving it a quick kiss and going away.

Sebastian groaned, Kurt hated him, now he couldn't have a chance with him, he fucked up their friendship, and if that wasn't enough, he couldn't get drunk. He was ninety nine percent sure he hated Christmas more than a year ago. Why did he have to be so stupid to run away, instead of staying and talking things as an adult?

"I wonder the same." A familiar voice said besides him.

No. This has to be a joke. His brain and his heart must have to come a deal and wanted to play him a joke.

He lifted his head slowly and turned to his side, only to realize it wasn't a joke, or his imagination, it was real. It was Kurt sitting besides him.

"Did I said it out loud?" Sebastian finally asked after an uncomfortable silence.

"Yup." Kurt said, nodding slowly and turning his gaze to the other side of the bar, looking directly at the drinks .

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend?" Sebastian snapped, and again, why did he have to be so stupid? It's not like Kurt owe him anything and he should be grateful Kurt didn't throw him a drink already.

"I know but...I decided I needed to talk you, so I asked to the blonde girl who was attending the coffee and she told me you came here." Kurt explained, still not looking at Sebastian.

"Well I – Look…" Sebastian shook his head and started again. "What did you want to talk about?" Sebastian asked.

"Come on, you know why I'm here." And he finally turned to Sebastian, his eyes watered with tears and Sebastian's heart broke for the second time at the night.

"No." Sebastian shook his head. "I don't know. I've already told you the reason why I did it Kurt, and how sorry I am. I don't know what else you want me to say."

"And do you think that makes up for everything you've done and said?" Kurt asked in a small voice. "I knew you didn't do relationships so I didn't expect you to date me the next day, but I didn't expect either to wake up with a letter expressing the real way you felt about me. Less to express it through my insecurities." Kurt said between sobs.

"I'm so sorry, Kurt." Sebastian cried. "I just…I didn't want you to look for me." Sebastian whispered.

"So you just made me feel like shit because you didn't want me to bother you!?" Kurt started to raise his voice and a few clients turned towards them, and before Sebastian could speak, Kurt continued. "What the fuck have you been doing this year anyway? Sleeping with random guys to see if you could forget about me? That's why you didn't want me to annoy you with my presence? Because if what you say in the coffee is true, then you loved me but you didn't have enough courage to tell me how you felt? Or at least to pretend you didn't love me, but stay? Did you even care how I felt?"

"Of course I cared about how you felt, Kurt." Sebastian said, looking sincerly. "It wasn't because I didn't want you to bother me, it was because I knew if I wasn't convincing, you'd look for me and then we'd be friends again, pretending that night didn't happen and you would start dating other guys and…I just would sit there, listening rambling about how cute they are, biting my tongue to don't say how I felt about you…and I couldn't. I just couldn't get my heart broken again, you know that Kurt." Sebastian said, his eyes filled with hurt at the memory of the first guy he ever dated, and the last one.

"But that was probably the most stupid thing I've ever done, because anyway I've spent this year just thinking about you, regretting of everything I've did that Christmas, and the worst part is that I hurt you too." Sebastian said, laughing bitterly.

"Do you regret about everything on that Christmas?" Kurt asked in a small voice, and Sebastian knew what he really meant was 'Do you regret about sleeping with me?'

"No." Sebastian answered honestly, taking Kurt hand's in tentatively, afraid Kurt would take it away. When he didn't Sebastian smiled and squeezed his hand. "As I told you before, that night still means everything, and so do you."

"Well," Kurt took a deep breath and smiled, "I guess I can forgive you."

"Wait, you are serious?" Sebastian asked shocked. "You won't make me beg on my knees? Or slap me? Or…I don't know, make me rent one of these romcoms you love much and force me to watch it with you?"

Kurt laughed and Sebastian felt like a zoo has been released inside his entire body. God he had missed Kurt's laugh.

"What? Do you want me to slap you?" Kurt asked, finally stopping his laugh. "Because I can certainly do it."

"No! I mean if that's what you want yes, I'm not asking for it. It's just I'm confused." Sebastian said frowning. "I mean I'm glad you decided to forgive me, but you seemed so upset just a few minutes ago?"

"To be honest, I wasn't thinking in forgiving you so easily, but I believe everything you just said. Mostly because you're a terrible liar." Kurt joked and Sebastian mocked offense. "I've really missed you, Sebastian." Kurt said, looking down at their tangled hands and giving it a squeeze. "And you've been an idiot for both of us by running away, wasting all this time hiding when we could have figured the things out somehow. So since I'm smarter than you, I won't allow a thing like that to happen again to us. We were best friends before this incident and I want to get back to that, maybe…it won't be so easy and there will be trust issues but…you mean a lot to me. I don't want to lose more time."

"You're so smart." Sebastian said laughing a little and shaking his head.

When he stopped laughing he looked at Kurt, and in that momento he felt like it was the most cliché movie ever, because he just couldn't stop staring at Kurt's face, his bright eyes, still a little red from the tears but shining with happiness because they finally were on good terms, or well they'd try, and his lips curved in a bright smile, and he felt breathless.

Fuck, he hated his mom made him watch romcoms.

"Aww" Nancy said where she was leaning against the beverage shelf and when the boys turned their attention to her, she started to make her way towards them, holding out a hand for Kurt. "I'm glad to finally meet you Kurt, Sebastian has been talking about you since the first night he got here." Nancy said, his smile widening when she saw the blush and panicked look on Sebastian.

"Well, I guess this just make it easier to forgive him." Kurt joked while shaking her hand. "Pleasure…"

"Nancy."

"Nancy. Sorry you've been suffering Sebastian, I know he's kinda annoying when he's drunk." Kurt said, enjoying the way Sebastian frowned.

"God, you shouldn't have meet." Sebastian mumbled, closing his eyes and both, Nancy and Kurt, laughed at him. "Why don't we leave this place? It's pretty obvious I'm not getting drunk anyway, and I don't want to hear you making fun of me." Sebastian growled, but he was smilling which ruined the effect.

"Ok, let's go." Kurt said between giggles and waving a bye to Nancy, as he jumped down from his stool and started to walk to the door, Sebastian besides him.

When Kurt opened the door, and Sebastian tried to step outside, the sound of Nancy's voice stopped them froze in the door frame.

"GUYS WAIT!" She yelled, making everyone turn towards her, the boys looking at her confused. "Look up." She said with a shit eating grin, and Sebastian panicked, without even have to look up because he already knew what it was about.

"We don't have to do this." Sebastian whispered to Kurt, when the other boy finally looked at him.

"Of course you have!" Nancy interrumped, still behind the bar and Sebastian glared at her. "It's a Christmas tradition!"

"Sorry for that, Nancy-" When he turned to Kurt, he didn't expect seeing him already lifting on his feet to kiss him, and as much as Sebastian wanted to kiss him, he gently pushed away. "What about your boyfriend?" Sebastian asked, trying his best to don't sound jealous, while Kurt frowned at him.

"What boyfriend? Adam? We broke up" Kurt explained, and hold back a laugh as Sebastian brows shoot up. "I've never loved him, and he knew it, but I needed…to forget you, so we tried a relationship, which wasn't working even before it started and seeing you again…just made me confirm I wasn't over you." Kurt said, looking down, blushing furiously.

"Well, that's great." Sebastian said, lifting Kurt's chin with his finger. "Because I'm not over you either, and I really want to kiss you right now." And without a word more, he leaned down, cupping Kurt's face with both hands and capturing him in a sweet kiss.

"Fucking finally." Nancy said and the boys laughed into the kiss, breaking away and resting his foreheads together.

"That was very PG from you." Kurt said, giving Sebastian a peck, while resting his hands on Sebastian's shoulders.

"Well, we have an audience." He kissed Kurt's nose and leaned to whisper in his ear, "What do you say if we go back to your place and put one of these horrible Christmas movies I hate, while we make out?" And kissed Kurt's earlobe, ignoring some wolf whistles they got.

"Sounds like a plan." Kurt said breathless, holding Sebastian's hand and leading the way to his apartment.

So maybe they didn't know how things would work, Kurt wanted them to be friends again and at the same time wanted to be more. Sebastian wanted to date him but couldn't afford another broken heart. And now they were going to make out under the terms of being friends, and as fucked up as that sounded to almost every person, it didn't matter at the end as long as they keep being KurtandSebastian, who trust each other and will be for the other no matter what happens and how many times they mess up.


End file.
